Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Night

I don't know what I want.
But I know what I've to do.
Can I get the best out of me?
Deep in thought for my unexpected thought.

Still remembered during the start of January,our teacher wanted us to write our resolution of the year.& I wrote,''I want to find my purpose in life''.
During heart to heart talk,my teacher told me that my answer is different from others and asked what did I meant by that.At that point of time,I deny,I told him that I don't know.Truth is,I just don't know how should I put it in such a way that he can feel for me.Feel for who I am,my thoughts,my mind,my wants,my needs.When I say I want to find my purpose in life,nobody get it because nobody understand me.Is like I'm in my own boundary and people are so close to me but nowhere near in reality.

I could still remembered how the feeling came recedes in.Have you ever play musical instrument with a group of over 10 people and harmonize?
I experience that when I'm in the module back in last year mid.Thankfully I got listed into the guitar module.It's a short-lived days but I enjoyed it a lot.
Funny how I enjoy Art.Watching the move and music people dance to.Watching people performing their solo of a cover.Despite all these enjoyment,I never get involved into it before.I wonder why.
Now I'm thinking.After ''O'',my mum probably ask me to work.Damn,I really want to do things that I want after my ''O''.Things that I love.Thinking that income become an issue to worry about and have to contribute it,it sucks.
I really envy those family who got stable income and enjoy luxury.Like going to school without worrying that your mum or dad will have financial problem because they have a stable work with good income and they are loving.They doted you too,giving you freedom and things you need.How good is that,I saw it in others but not mine.Why?

Enough of all these thoughts.Clock ticking to 12pm in about 2 hours time.The work from the E-Learning will be launch soon.I will try to do as much as possible so that I got more time for tomorrow.E-learning took 2 school days this year.How good is that.I've more time for my Art prep board.Submission for CA1 mark is due next Monday.Another good thing is,I finally catch up all my work in school,like what Aqirah told me,take it slowly and do it in a slow phase.Finally I got on tasked,I'm happy for that.Still,I have like so much topics that I don't understand.Got to work on it soon.

Ain't my imagination.
I heard music from musical instrument.it's like band is still on going in NBS.

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